Life's a beach

I met this guy on facebook who I knew had a few common friends with me, but long story short, we really didn't know each other.  We talked for a while and exchanged numbers.  One night when I was out at the movies with a different guy, I received a text inviting me to a place in a different town where him and his friends hung out every week.  When the movie was over, and the coast was clear, I texted back saying I would come.  Sometimes I can be a fearless woman and just go for what I want.  But, of course, I called my friend and alerted her of where I would be!

I met up with the guy, and we really hit it off.  He asked me out for dinner for the next night and everything.  We hung out practically every weekend and were having loads of awkward fun.  We finally planned a beach day, which was much anticipated by me because I had never been to this beach, but also because I'm not in tip top bikini shape...so I was stressing quite a bit.  Oh by the way, this guy's job was about being physically fit. Ut oh.

When we got there the awkwardness, but niceness continued, even after I revealed my not-so-beach body.  There was something missing still though...He was quiet, wasn't having fun in the water and was sleeping in the sun.

Finally we watched these birds attack these boys' chips that they left behind while they went to go splash in the water.  The birds were feasting on this delicacy.  It was really funny actually...even the guy I was with recorded them tearing apart this bag and fighting each other on his phone.  By the time the boys returned, there wasn't a crumb left...not even the bag was left.  To break the awkwardness I decided to continue the joke and annotate what the boys must be saying to each other in regards to their missing snack.  I also said how it would be funny if the birds flew by one last time and just dropped the bag off for the boys.  C'mon...how is it not funny to think of a bird flying through the air with a big Mondo chip bag in mouth, then strategically dropping the bag off to play the boys.  Well...my guy didn't even laugh.

Later when I met up with my friends, I was telling them about how he didn't laugh at my bird joke.  That really designated with me.  I'm a funny girl, why didn't he laugh?!

Anyway, I texted him later and could sense things were WAY different.  I just guessed he didn't appreciate my muffin top... I didn't hear from him for days and didn't expect to hear from him either.

I either wasted my money for signing up for the gym 2 weeks prior to the beach, or I really needed to start using that gym membership to avoid another incident such as this. Damn, that sucks.

Are You Kidding Me?! McGina?

I need to backtrack a little for you to fully understand the story.  So... my ex and I were gonna go on a small vacation with his cousin and a few more friends. Long story short, I didn't go because of interior issues with payments/honesty...blah blah blah.  He still decided to go even though I wasn't going! Last minute I decided I would go because I didn't wanna miss out on the much anticipated trip but he said I wasn't allowed to then.  Ass.  His cousin's girlfriend's friend went also. We'll call her Jess McGina for fun. I mean "Gina" as in Vagina.  (I want to make fun of her name. Let me have my fun.)  I wasn't too thrilled about her because she was an extra girl there with my man!

Shortly after he came back, we broke up.  But thanks to good ol' facebook I know Jess McGina has been in the picture (literally lol) since then.  At first, it was just that they were at the same places because of mutual friends, but then something popped up in my newsfeed.

I knew my ex and his cousin had a wedding that they went to.  I saw pics uploaded by his cousin's girlfriend.  Who do I see beside the cousin's girlfriend?! Jess McGina!  So I frantically click the pic only to confirm what I already knew...Jess McGina was my ex's date!!! WTF. I mean I know it's been some time and I have certainly had a handful of guys/dates myself, but the fact that it's with her bothers me.  It makes me question if they had some kind of flirtacious "we're on vacation together with no one else to cuddle with" type of relationship.  Or it makes me think she's a total bitch because she was checking him out when we were together.  But my gut instinct (and my friend's) is that he's too much of a pussy to decide who he wants to be with and it was probably just easiest to listen to his cousin's suggestion and bring Jess McGina.

I know they're allowed to be together and date... but damn! Btw...I take pleasure in knowing the dress she wore to the wedding was previously worn by her friend to a different wedding.

Moist Man

As part of my college studies, I had to participate in an internship in order to graduate. This internship required me to dress the part of a classy, scholarly, young woman.  And me being me, and me owning the clothes I own, gladly accepted this role and rocked what was deemed appropriate (while still being on somewhat of the fashion edge.)  I had caught the eye of a particular worker at this secret interning location, and although he was not my usual type, I remembered I didn't have a type.  I had been with my ex for so many years, I hadn't had the chance to really date anyone.  Therefore, how am I suppose to know what my type is? So I went forth and agreed to hang out with this young man.  

After a few times of hanging out, I was invited to his place of residency which was owned by himself, and was decorated quite nicely by the way.  We did the whole cliche "let's watch a movie" which I would have been satisfied with, except for him it was really the cliche and he attempted to get "romantic" with a popular R&B singer playing in the background which would have been great if we were dating and I needed to be reminded of how much he loves me. (This was not the case, of course.) I tried to ignore the music while I kissed him back, but soon realized there was a lot of excess moisture on my face that I felt really uncomfortable with.  Dilemma! Do I chill there and let my face be shiny and wet and smile at him like "no biggie that my whole face feels like a pool" or do I blatantly just wipe my face because he shouldn't have been eating my face out?! I choose a semi in between option where I left some of it there, and slightly did a few wipes here and there.  The night comes to an end and I manage to float on home.  I'm glad I gave it a shot, but there would be no more swimming sessions for the two of us anymore.

No bueno.

Breathing Boy

My group of friends thought I would like one of their friends and since I'm on the hunt for D, I decide to check this guy out.  We start talking online and through texts and he's real sweet! A few weeks later him and his roommates have a party.  I arrive at the party and even though I had a warning of his height being the same as mine, I determine he is still cute and I should try it (especially because I already planned on staying the night.)

The party ends and I'm just straight chilling in this guy's bed with all sports decor surrounding me.  Exactly what I want...NOT! I am just lying waiting for a kiss and some cuddle time...but my ass ends up waiting all night and into the next morning.  He didn't even try to kiss me.  I know you're nervous dude, but c'mon! I'm laying in your bed! What do you think that means?! lol

We go to breakfast with some other friends and him and I end up hanging out again afterward. We're on his bed since that's pretty much the only place to sit or hang out in a dorm room and I finally think he's going to kiss me.  Nope he just would prefer to stare at me and hope for me to make the first move.  I keep saying the whole "What" giggles type of thing and he shoots me a peck.  Then he starts breathing uncontrollably to the point where I am unsure if he is ok or not.  When I realize he is fine and he is just overly excited by our "awesome" peck, I start to find it funny and want to play more. Evil face.  I kiss him good this time...he freaks and he is only concerned with his breathing.  I continue playing games like this, but in the process realize I am much bigger than him and the height issue then overwhelms me. So I leave and phone my girl on my ride home (with my bluetooth of course) to let her know of that evening's events and that it would not be working out and I am still on the prowl for some D.

Poor boy could have jizzed in his pants for all I know.

Purpose

This blog will track you through my journey of getting some "D."  Does that sound inappropriate? I sure hope so. Unfortunately, I should make you all aware that I am not literally speaking of the actual "D", yes, as in the awful word, "Dick." "D" is just a letter I use to make the reference towards a male, guy, dude, man, whatever you want to call them.  I just call them "D's."

Ever since my breakup last year, with someone whom I was with for years, I have been on the hunt for the perfect, marry-able "D."  I am still a young woman, but I am at a point where I want to be with someone, and have someone be my best friend.  It has been a hard year so far but many dates and funny stories later, here I am blogging because I still have not found the right D.

Follow me and join the adventure for getting some D.